Becoming a Phoenix: From Church to Choas

BECOMING A PHOENIX: FROM CHURCH TO CHAOS
Born into poverty in rural Jamaica, I was the unwanted daughter of a mother who was rarely present and a father who rejected me for my dark skin. My childhood was defined by hardship—begging for food, selling fruit to survive, and being passed between strangers when my parents were absent. Labeled a "black sheep," I struggled through school, excelling academically but constantly in trouble.
The church was my only hope, a place where I believed God's love could save me. But betrayal struck early—I was cast out after false rumors of an affair with a pastor. Rejected by my faith, I turned to education, studying criminal justice and midwifery, determined to build a future. Yet, at Kingston School of Nursing, my reputation followed me. Professors targeted me, calling me mentally unfit. I fought for four years to complete my studies, but just when victory was within reach, I was poisoned—the ultimate betrayal by the one person I trusted most: my own mother.
As my health declined, paranoia, anxiety, and isolation consumed me. Friends disappeared, my mental state crumbled, and I fell into abusive relationships. Seeking solace in music, I entered the industry, only to find myself exploited and discarded. Fifteen joints a day, no food, no sleep—I was spiraling. My final escape led me home to St. Thomas, but my mother, relentless in her cruelty, turned my family and community against me. I lost everything.
With nowhere left to go, I lived in the bushes, surviving on whatever I could find. But in the darkest moments, my daughter became my reason to fight. She was the light in my chaos, the force that pulled me back.
In the end, I faced my mother. I confronted the woman who had spent a lifetime trying to break me. She took my childhood, my trust, and nearly my life—but she would not take my future.
Now, at 33 years old, I am rebuilding. I am healing. I have met someone who sees me for who I am—a survivor, not a victim.
This is not a story of defeat.
It is a story of resilience.
I was meant to be destroyed.
Instead, I rose.
This is only the beginning. This is my rebirth.